Why the title: swimmingtherip?

What is a rip: “A rip current, commonly referred to simply as a rip, or by the misnomer “rip tide”, is a water current that can be found near beaches. It is strong, localized and is strongest near the surface of the water, and it moves directly away from the shore, cutting through the lines of breaking waves.

The location of rip currents can be unpredictable: while some tend to recur always in the same place, others can appear and disappear suddenly at various locations near the beach.” From Wikipedia

I was looking for an analogy of how it is like to live with the sudden, unpredictable, immense highs of mood of mania..and then: the swift, crashing lows..
The aftermath of being swept away ashore like driftwood.
OR, if one fails to survive:Drowning, drowning, drown. suffocating, swallowed up by the violence of the waves.. swallowing the rushing emotions like water being pushed down every orifice.

The cycles of mania are relentless like the waves. You know it is just a matter of time till they come again. Although I like to lie to myself during a peaceul lull, when all seems well, that maybe I am normal too?
If only I could be like that.

I had recently wanted to believe there was a natural recovery process, after getting a little better. But I realised that the symptoms do not fully go away even with full compliance to medication. The waves always return. It is my coping that must improve to prevent myself from drowning.

I can only learn to reduce the impact of the paranoid thoughts on my mood, and manage my highs.

Having a strong internal Locus of control is so important. I realised I am responsible to control and cope with the impulsivity i feel to do crazy shit during those high moments. I cannot blame my illness for making me like this.

As Joshua 1:9 says:

image

So, I chose the title for this little blog, “swimmingtherip”, cos I want to encourage myself to “just keep swimming” like Nemo’ s dad’s slightly demented fish friend Dory.. haha she is cute. But she is silly. Well so am I..
Anyway, hopefully, maybe, Godwilling, I’ll get through this journey somehow?

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5 thoughts on “Why the title: swimmingtherip?

  1. I feel, there is a tough time going through every tide of the high side of your condition. I feel that , I just feel that giving yourself more time in listening to good preaching of God’s word would allow you overcome some of your difficulties in life. I just can feel how tough it is being swung about from normal to mania times to times. I felt encouraged by you for the courage to swim through. Will pray for you dear sister.

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    1. Yes. I can’t agree more. I have been realising more and more – and this is hard for me cos of prideful nature- That God’s way is THE way. I keep coming back in circles cos I keep trying to solve problems my way and not surrender to Him. Great insight Julie! Thanks for sharing!

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  2. I do believe that one who is able to see his shortcomings and admits he needs improvements is either close to or right there in God’s Kingdom. There’re stages of scriptural childhood, beginning from ‘brephos’ (newly born babe -who’s just got born again) to the fifth and highest form of ‘huios’ (well matured and ready to represent his father very well). This is why Paul teaches us to renew or minds. The word ‘renew’ means ‘to renovate’. Thanks for following me.

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    1. I really like that you use the Greek terminology to articulate your meanings and Hebrew too on your blog. My church pastor is fluent in Hebrew, which he learned to understand the bible better. Many meanings can be lost in translation. I think it is very wise of you to understand the meanings in the original language to retain the bible’s true essence.

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  3. Thanks a million for the compliment. Well, I guess the good Lord has blessed me with one of the best pastors on earth (no kidding) he’s Rev. Chris Okotie. Please do keep up the good posts.

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