General Musings

Hi.

Was thinking of posting an article on where to find poke stop intersections where one can sit in aircon, with toilets and amenities… Haha but well i guess i cant really be bothered.. Although that would probably boost my site traffic haha!

Anyway, it has been a while since I have posted… Been swept away by a whirlwind…

Thank goodness I havent deviated too low or too high. I know this is cliche, but the one thing that sustained me was God. In particular, praying.

Let me disclaim, it is not that I am some super Christian that I mention God… In fact it is because of my failings and my ugliness that I choose Jesus, and The God who is full of Mercy, the Prince of Peace and the provider of Grace.

Actually, it was after my return from Sydney that I first truly sought Him with all my heart. It was in desperation… My psychosis was coming on, my mind was a blur of paranoid, delusional thoughts. And underscored by an immense sense of shame and guilt for my lifestyle.

Well i wont delve that much but He is my only Source, and I keep failing Him, but coming back with humility brings the relief of His embrace.

Anyway, thanks for reading.. Just like to share a verse from a Psalm I been meditating on:

Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; For I shall yet praise Him, The help of my countenance and my God.

Psalms 43:5

The substance of things

(hoped for)

many men do many things

Attempting, Slaving, Failing, try

again, Sift through broken patterns in your head

But if you think about it,

They are only angles of things you made
Up to you, Up to me

many dots strung together

to be seen as lines

They form roads and stop signs to a make believe paradise,

Every man or woman commits

(In their head)
I am no sage,

But I have seen them, seeing me

In all my made up fear

Anxiety.

But time and again I realise

All I see are from mine eyes

Attempting, Slaving, Failing to see through

Idealised victories in Love and

War, wars – fought by any given dogma that pervades the spirit

Is it really worth all the fighting?
Fall asleep crying, with premonitions of past sorrow

Cruel You are, O Merciful one, that after each night of striving, failing, clambouring toward paradise,

we will Still wake up tomorrow

To-day,

walk out what is unwritten